Getting it Right This Time

I love the Hellboy movies. It's not just that I am an action and sci-fi junkie, but there really are very deep messages imbedded in these movies (not to mention Hellboy loves cats, beer, cigars, candy bars, and a certain brunette!).

Besides kicking ass and taking names later (only of the bad guys, of course), I think the best thing about these movies are the recurring and imbedded themes of love and acceptance.

The first message I take from these movies is that of learning to accept, respect, and love those who are different (defective, even - at least in the opinion of oneself or others).

There is a line in the first Hellboy movie. Agent John Meyers states that his Uncle once said "We like people for their qualities, but we love them for their defects." In many ways, I believe that this is true.

I couldn't begin to list my multitude of defects, but the one, of course, that stands out the most is my A.A.D.D. (Adult Attention Deficit Disorder). I think this is something that has been attractive to my past "mates" and my current and forever life partner (MB or my brunette.) Because of the A.A.D.D., (a) I am rarely boring; (b) there's hardly an awkward silence because I tend to always fill it up and (c) I am a bit of a risk-taker, which I think makes me a bit exciting (and scary) at times.

Of course, my past "mates" would likely tell you that (a) I never finish anything, (b) I am extremely messy, and (c) I don't know how to relax. And they would pretty much be telling the truth. The difference between these mates and MB is that MB has worked very hard to understand the disorder and to accept the challenge of understanding and dealing with it -- hopefully, organizing me and channeling my energy into productive things (Ha! ever heard of the difficulty in hearding cats? That is probably much easier than organizing me!)

At any rate, MB seems to love me enough to work together to figure this out. That means so much to me and I really look forward our future together.

The second, and probably most important, message in the Hellboy movies is that of self-acceptance. TB (The brunette - aka Liz Sherman) has a deep desire to "fit-in" with those who are "normal." On many levels I can related to this one, too. Having worked extremely hard to hide my "defects" from those around me (both family and friends) in order to fit in has taken its toll on me -- but in many ways it has been a positive.

I've always worked harder than most to try to prove I was as good as everybody else and to be sure that I fit in. I became (still am) a chronic over-achiever (3 college degrees, 2 full-time jobs at a time, top award winner among my colleagues at my place of work, etc) .

Unfortunately, this has certainly adversely affected my personal life as I often turned to work when it was hard to cope with the stress of the day-t0-day. Many of my friends, colleagues, family, and loved ones consider me a work-a-holic. To me, it's just normal. Couple my desire to prove my self-worth with the energy of having A.A.D.D and that is a perfect recipe for work-a-holism.

Reflecting on the 1st half of my life and realizing that I really have wasted many years trying to prove myself to others (when I really needed to just prove it to myself) makes me want to learn to let go and relax. MB helps me with this. This help, along with my desire to get it right this time, will hopefully mean a more fulfilling 2nd half of my life. I have faith that it will.

So, the Hellboy movies really are awesome Good versus Evil movies. They make us think about accepting and loving each other for our defects. They make us think about accepting and loving ourselves for our defects. They make us realize that self-acceptance is more important than acceptance by others.

But, mainly, they tell us there is not a damn thing wrong with liking beer, cigars, and a good-looking brunette!

~Wally